Pagkadapa Ng Dahil Sa Pag-Ibig

It's been four months since the break up and I cant move to all the things that happened. Loosing someone is really not easy... I've been finding ways to cope up with my life. Every single day, my life becomes difficult. I dont know where to go to, where to stand, how to start my life without him. I've been drinking ever since the break up. And yet nothing happened.

It is so difficult for me to accept all of this!!! All my plans was ruined... Ang hirap pala talaga ng buhay lalo na kung hindi mo ineexpect ang mga mangyayari.

Lahat ng pananaw ko sa buhay ngayon ay nag-iba na. Hindi ko na alam ang tama sa mali at ang mali sa tama. Hindi na ako yuong dating Janus Paul Dela Cruz. Yuong masayahin, may direksyon ang buhay. Sa bawat araw na dumadaan, nalululong ako sa kasawian... Sa kawalan ng pag-asa... Ngumingiti dahil kailangan... Kumakain dahil kailangan... Sa daming tanong sa buhay ko, sa daming gumugulo sa isip ko, hindi ko na alam kung san magsisimula.

Nangako siya na hindi niya ako iiwan... Na ako na ang huling tao sa buhay niya... Na ako na yung gusto nya makasama... Nasabi ko din ito dati sa isang tao na minahal ko ng matagal na panahon pero iniwan ko din sya... Ganto ba talaga? Ito na ba ang tinatawag nilang KARMA? Hindi ko na maintindihan ang buhay!!! Hilong hilo na ako! Hirap na hirap na! Gusto ko nang sumuko! Malapit na ako bumigay... Pinipilit ko nalang kumapit... Pero saan ba ako kumakapit? Kanino? Wala... Ni hindi ko na nga makita o maramdaman man lang na may purpose pa ang buhay ko.

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I will wait for you...

They are no words for me to ease all the pain I caused you. I dont know if you can still forgive me for what I did to you. Of all the screw ups I did, all the mess, all the pain I did. Im really am sorry. I will no longer defend myself for what I did to you. The right things to do now are admit, repent and not to do it again to anyone else, specially you.

Now, all I want is YOU! Nothing more and nothing less. Be a better person and make all the things right this time. Make the best of what we had and what we will have.

I want to start all over again. To make things right from the start. Erase all the bad memories and savour the best. Im not asking you to come back now, but maybe, just maybe, there will come a time that you will.

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Love?

In life, we try to do our best and hope that everything would be perfect. We make decisions that sometimes turns our world upside down. Turning it in a good way and in a bad way. And most of the time, when we decide to do the right things, the chance would be gone. Pinaglalaruan nga tyo ng tadhana. Maybe that's a reason for us to change. So that, next time we encounter that situation, we will know what to do and make the right decisions.

No one wanted to hurt someone they love, but sometimes, we do. And we cant blame anyone but ourselves. We need balls to say it to our face that "I Made A Mistake" and accept the consequences of our actions. We should be brave to face everything so we can face everyone with heads up high. Yet again, easy to say but hard to do it. Why? Because we are afraid that the person you hurt would be gone. If you admit all the mistakes, you know you're taking the risk of letting go of that person. You gave him/her the right to go and you just pray that he/she wont. Now I asked myself, which is right? To lie and hide all the mistakes just to not to hurt our love on or be honest and tell all the mistakes you did and know that person will leave you?

Love is a very powerful thing. It can make new relationship and it can destroy one. It can make you happy and it can make you sad. Love is so unfair, right. It makes you things you cant imagine you can do. And it changes you, sometimes for better and sometimes for worse. All you just know is wish, wish that everything will be fine and all right and hope that every thing will fall in the right place.

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CONTEST ALERT! Dispatch Magazine: Hunt for El Supremo

Do you wanna travel to Sabah's famous Kota Kinabalu? Go up the trail and experience sky walking at Mount Kinabalu? Or maybe explore the jungles and see exciting flora and fauna of the island's tranquil forest? This is your chance to do it because Dispatch Magazine is looking for you! Join Dispatch Media Fan page and submit your entry.


HOW TO JOIN:
WIN PLANE TICKETS TO KOTA KINABALU AND DOMESTIC REGIONS IN 3 SIMPLE STEPS!

• Like our page! Be a fan of DISPATCH MEDIA!
• Post your most fearless and unique picture of yourself as a traveler on your Facebook wall and tag us @Dispatch Media. Include a 250-word caption on WHAT MAKES YOU DISPATCH MAGAZINE’S EL SUPREMO: THE HUNT FOR INDEPENDENT TRAVELERS! It is important that you mention @Dispatch Media in the caption. Double check it if it appears on our wall too. Failure to do so voids your entry.
• Check www.dispatchmagonline.com for contest terms and details!

EVENT TERMS:

• All participants should be18 years old and above and based in any location where there is a Cebu Pacific hub.
• We are looking for (1) male and (1) female independent travelers for KOTA KINABALU and (1) male and (1) female independent travelers for any local destination.
• We will only provide airline tickets. Pocket money and other expenses will be shouldered by the winning participants.
• The winning participant will document his story for publication.
• All winning participants will only be contacted by the official Dispatch Magazine team. You will be contacted via phone call and email. Tickets will be handed to you personally.
• Deadline of submission of entries is on May 18, 2011 for travel period on any days between May 20-31.
• Three consolation prizes will be supplied by Eagle Creek.
• This contest is in cooperation with Primer Group of Companies, Eagle Creek and Cebu Pacific Airlines.

Here's the website of Dispatch Magazine for more details. http://www.dispatchmagonline.com/

Dispatch Media's Facebook Fan Page Link: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Dispatch-Media/349645251112

Disclaimer:
Just blogging the contest and I am not connected with Primer Group Of Companies, Eagle Creek, Cebu Pacific Airlines nor Dispatch Media.

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This is official!

Now here it is. At last! I am now blogging. This is my first time to do it and now I'm scared to death to all the critics out there. Hahaha!

Anyway, I just want to introduce myself first. I am Janus Paul Dela Cruz, working in a Travel Agency (so now you know that I love to travel), eldest of 5, loves to party and hang out with friends. I love animals!!! I have 3 aquariums at home (2 Marine water and 1 Fresh water). Got four cute and lovely dogs too, namely Freya (mixed bread of Japanese Spitz and Fox Terrier), Spottie (daughter of Freya from a pure breed Jack Russel Terrier), Cotton (pure breed Japanese Spitz) and Mini (mixed breed of Mini Pincher and Jack Russel). I collect stuffed toys (I have hundreds!!!). I do join online contests, raffles and the likes.

I created this blog just for the fun of it. This may help you and me of anything. Hahaha!

So, that's it for now! Hope to write again soon.

Lovelot's

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